


I Want To Know

by Anonymous



Series: Zayn & Harry's "Thing" [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Male Friendship, No Smut, Platonic Male/Male Relationships, Schmoop, discussions of sex and punishment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-19
Updated: 2015-03-19
Packaged: 2018-03-18 14:24:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3572933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis gets answers for some of his questions about Harry and Zayn’s relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Want To Know

When he heard a knock at the front door, Harry set down the book he’d been reading and got up to answer it. Louis had told him earlier that he’d be dropping by this afternoon, and Harry was happy to have the company. It had been ages since they’d had a chance to spend any time together just the two of them. They used to do it all the time, but things changed over the years and it seemed like they had been drifting a bit from the very close friendship they’d had since they met. Part of it was just a natural process, but sadly part of it was due to the rumors about the two of them having an affair and every single thing they did was construed as “evidence”, so they’d eventually stopped doing almost anything together. It felt like every word they spoke and every move they made was under a microscope for “proof” that they were sleeping together. 

Funny how no one really ran off with the idea of Harry and Zayn the same way.

Opening the door, the two friends embraced. Louis had been feeling the same way that Harry had been and he was looking forward to an afternoon of them watching movies or playing video games or even just talking. 

“You want a drink or anything, mate? We’ve got sodas and juice in the fridge, or I could make us some tea”, Harry said once Louis was inside and his coat was hung up. 

It was a chilly and overcast day, and Louis replied, “If you really wouldn’t mind, I’d love to have tea.”

Harry smiled and motioned for Louis to follow him into the kitchen while he put the kettle on. “Great to see you, Louis. Tell me the latest news from the biggest family I know!”

“Oh, all’s well. The girls all seem to be doing fine in school and the babies are really almost not even babies anymore. Mum’s happy, that’s really the most important thing, right? Had Eleanor stay for the weekend, it was really nice, everybody gets on so well and El doesn’t mind the chaos at all”, Louis said. He really was happy with his life, his family, his girlfriend – all the things that had nothing to do with being a famous pop star. 

When Harry suggested Eleanor might want a family that big with Louis one day, they both had a laugh. “So what about you? Anything new? I see you’re still in your sleep pants at half one in the afternoon, doesn’t seem like you’ve been busy today”, Louis asked. For a moment, he was happy to see his friend having a quiet relaxing day at home – it wasn’t something that happened all that often for any of them, but they were in the beginning of a ten day break that the boys sorely needed. 

Louis’ happiness for the situation was dampened a bit when Harry responded that he wasn’t doing anything at all that weekend because he was grounded today and tomorrow. 

“Sorry, what? You’re-”

Harry poured the mugs of tea and handed one to Louis. “I blew off grocery shopping Friday so Zayn took my car keys and changed the wifi password”, he explained. It wasn’t that difficult these days for him to share this kind of information anymore; the other lads in the band all knew that Zayn and Harry got into this dynamic on occasion. They were a very committed couple and obviously quite equal partners in the relationship most of the time. Even though Louis had never said anything, it honestly made him a bit uncomfortable and worried. He didn’t understand it, but then he’d never asked about it either. He decided that even though it might be kind of an awkward conversation, despite how close they were, that he was going to address his concerns now, while he had Harry alone with plenty of time to talk. Before he got a chance, though, Harry noticed the look on Louis’ face and could tell there was something on his mind. 

“What is it, Lou? You don’t want to hear about that stuff?”

Louis took a deep breath and said, “No, it’s not – it’s actually kind of the opposite of that. I guess I just…I don’t know, I think I’m worried that it’s the kind of thing that could, like, escalate or whatever. You know, like, maybe Zayn’s gonna want things to be like that between you all the time after a while.”

“Oh, no. No, mate, I swear that’s not something you need to worry about. I’m really glad you brought it up, though, because obviously this is something that bothers you so we should talk it out. You can ask me anything, I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.”

“Well, for starters, I guess I just don’t really get it. Like, what’s the reason behind it? Is it for you, or for him, or for both of you? I mean, take the situation you’re in right now. Why is it all right for him to tell you what to do or what not to do?”

Harry gathered his thoughts and tried to start an explanation for his closest friend. The last thing he wanted was for Louis to think something was _wrong_ , or dangerous. “Okay. So if we’re talking about right now, this weekend, I’ll start with that. You know right before we started this little break things were really hectic and we all were overbooked and tired and desperate for a bit of peace?” When Louis nodded, Harry continued, “When things get like that, really intense for days at a time, I get this terrible restless feeling, along with…like, having too much responsibility and all this pressure. Zayn does this _for me_. Getting to hand over all that weight and him just hiding it away from me for a couple of days makes that feeling go away. I’m, like, _settled_ or something. I don’t know if that makes any sense to you or not. But if it helps you to understand, I skipped the grocery run yesterday on purpose.”

“Because you knew he’d punish you for it? And that’s what you wanted – to, like, shake off how you were feeling after such a crazy week? That’s what you’re getting out of this…arrangement or whatever” Louis asked after thinking a minute or two while he sipped on his tea. Even after all these years, he was surprised to get such a thorough and detailed explanation from Harry. It’s not like the kid didn’t ramble on constantly, just not about things that were really serious. 

“Yeah. So, now I’ve got two days where I can’t go anywhere even if I wanted to, I can’t look at my Twitter feed and get anxious about what people are saying, I can just… _be_ , I guess.”

Thinking about it, Louis was glad that he could now understand the foundation of Harry and Zayn’s activities. It actually did make sense, really. He’d seen Harry start to get wound tight and even snappish when they had to do too many interviews answering the same damn questions again and again, then fit photo shoots and the like in to their schedule so that all of them were more exhausted (just in a different way) than playing shows for days and days in a row. So this…thing that he and Zayn did every now and again was Harry’s idea, and was ultimately done for his benefit. He still had questions, though, and now that they were this deep into the conversation, Louis felt like this would be the time to ask. 

“Right. Okay, I think I get that part of it. And I know you said ask you anything, but…bloody hell, I don’t know how to say this without making it sound like I think Zayn isn’t a good person. Because I know he is, and I know he’s good to you and loves you. I just need to know – does he hurt you, Haz? It just seems like this kind of situation could lead to that and I’m not sure if I can be okay with that”, Louis said, dreading what kind of response he would get; he didn’t even know if he really wanted that suspicion confirmed or denied. 

Harry was silent for a moment, then got up and placed their empty mugs into the sink. When he sat back down across from Louis, he was determined to answer honestly regardless of the consequences. “When you say _hurt_ …well, I guess I just wouldn’t really call it that. I’m not sure how much detail you want. We have pretty rough sex sometimes but Zayn doesn’t use sex as a punishment for anything, ever. He’s got a very firm line when it comes to anything physical. He’s not ever raised a hand to me out of anger, you should know that, and I’m absolutely certain that he never would”, he said with confidence. The rest of the answer wouldn’t be so easy. “He’ll tug on my hair or give me a smack now and then, usually when he wants me to look at him or answer a question he’s asked and I don’t do it. And…he, ah – well, sometimes I get a spanking”, Harry admitted, watching Louis’ eyes narrow and his expression turn a little angry. “Before you get pissed off, just listen, okay? You asked if Zayn hurt me. And yeah, it hurts to get spanked but he doesn’t _hurt_ me. Even when there’s physical stuff going on when we’re living this dynamic, you haven’t ever seen a mark on me, have you? I mean, other than the occasional love bite”, he added with a small smile, hoping that might lighten the mood. “Like I said, he’s got really strict limits and he hasn’t ever done anything like that because he’s mad or we’re fighting or whatever. It’s confined to when we scene for a day or two, and he knows exactly what I need and how much I need to get me into a more calm headspace.”

It took Louis a few minutes to process all of that information. Still, he tried to think of it from Harry’s viewpoint. He was certain Harry was being completely honest, and to be fair, Louis couldn’t even begin to imagine that Zayn was the type to be abusive in any way. He almost felt bad for asking, but if there was a time to ask, it was right then. “All right. I mean, I can’t imagine it, wanting someone to spank me or having something like that make me feel calm or unburdened. But it’s really obvious that it works for the two of you, and if this makes you happy and Zayn’s willing to give you what you need to make you feel better, that’s really all that matters in the end, yeah? You’re both happy and neither of you feel pressured into anything, you’re safe and cared for and that’s honestly all I need to know.”

Harry was incredibly relieved as a result of Louis being so understanding. They’d been best friends for years and the last thing in the world he wanted was to alienate him because he felt uncomfortable about some aspects of Harry’s relationship with Zayn. “Okay. Just – if you think of anything else you want to know, or you see something that makes you uncomfortable, please tell me. I can’t stand for you thinking something’s wrong when it’s not, you know?”

Louis readily agreed and with the heavy subject matter out of the way, they moved back into the living room to watch the first two Die Hard movies. When it was time for Louis to leave, they gave each other big hugs and promised they wouldn’t let it happen again for so much time to pass without hanging out.

Zayn got home about an hour later, and they spent half an hour snogging on the sofa. Harry told him about his visit and his conversation with Louis; how much better they both felt after some explanations were offered and questions were answered. Honestly, Zayn was happy to hear about it – the last thing he wanted was for their friends to have concerns about Harry’s safety. 

Almost as an afterthought, Harry added, “I didn’t think to send you a text to let you know Louis was coming round today. We didn’t go anywhere but I know I probably should have made sure it was okay for me to have company this weekend.”

Leaning in to place a gentle kiss to Harry’s cheek, Zayn replied, “If there is ever a time when we’re doing this and I don’t want you to socialize, I promise I will tell you. But isolating you from your mates is the last thing I want. You know all of this is for you, to get you settled and calm when you need it. Telling you that you can’t see your friends won’t go anywhere to get those things accomplished. And you’re right, you probably should have checked with me but you know how specific I am with your rules, and if I had a reason why I thought you should be alone, I would have told you. No worries, then, all right?”

“Thanks, Zayn. I haven’t the slightest clue what I’ve done to be lucky enough to have you. You really do always have my best interest as the first thing on your mind.”

“S’not luck, babe. It’s just us, putting in the effort to make sure both of us are getting everything the other needs. You do it for me, too. Different ways, of course, but you’re so good to me, always.”

The sentimental moment led to another bout of snogging and snuggling. This time it was getting pretty heated, though, and after a little while, Zayn pulled back and asked Harry if he wanted to move things to the bedroom. And who was Harry to say no to an offer like that?


End file.
